Bad Milo! (2013)
Back when I reviewed Hell Baby, I mentioned that I never got the appeal of MTV's The State. You would have thought I wrote an op-ed that gave the thumbs up to stretching the dirty holes of...
View Article+1 (2013)
I recently read an article in The Guardian that took a look at the declining number of Japanese people actively pursuing romantic relationships. A survey conducted in 2011 found 61% of unmarried...
View ArticlePhantasm II (1988)
As a towheaded six-year old in 1988, I didn't want to see Phantasm II--I needed to see Phantasm II. Universal Studios marketed the shit of the picture (or, at least it seems that way in my memory)....
View ArticleLiving Doll (1990)
I see how it is -- it's okay to make a movie about a man stealing the corpse of a woman from the morgue and keeping it in his house. That's just hunky-dory. Something like that will find financing,...
View ArticleTales From the Crypt: "Three's a Crowd" (1990)
Of all the characters Tales From the Crypt tortured during its run, none suffered a more bitter and vicious end than the trio at the center of "Three's a Crowd." Growing up, I loved Tales From the...
View ArticleVacation & Whathaveyou
Fellow Degenerates, November is here, and that means Captain Dipshit is going to be fairly busy wrapping up the autumn semester of college. As much as I enjoy writing for this thing, it neither pays...
View ArticleUpstream Color (2013)
I have sat with Upstream Color since July, watching it once a month. Aside from telling people that I saw it, I haven't attempted to extrapolate it. It was a movie that sat with me. I needed to...
View Article25 Days of Shitmas
Ahoy-hoy! Come celebrate the holidays over at Shit Movie Fest! Their third annual 25 Days of Shitmas has started, and there's already some hefty loads posted. Yours truly will have an entry on the...
View ArticleButterfly (1982)
I can't tell if I wanna fuck Pia Zadora. Sometimes her round cheeks and full lips are enticing; other times she looks like a cracking Vince Neil wax figure. It is the strangest damn thing. Zadora...
View ArticleShootin' Pool With a Piece of Rope: Stripped to Kill (1987)
Are there cops who have actually gone undercover as strippers? It seems to me that is a rather implausible idea. Sure, undercover fuzz are asked to do a fair amount of shady shit, but actually...
View ArticleClip (2013)
Every year the Oscars struggle to find five actresses to nominate, and Hollywood press mags bemoan the lack of parts for women, as though good performances can only come from established names in...
View ArticleBest of 2013
Identity was the running theme through my top ten. Each film centered not on a battle between external foes, but on the protagonist's inability to reconcile the multitude of desires and fears churning...
View ArticleWorst of 2013
In retrospect, 2013 was a mundane year at the movies. It wasn't particularly awful (like, say 2005 was), nor was it really that memorable. It sat there, churning out movies that will find themselves...
View ArticleAbduction of an American Playgirl (1975) / Winter Heat (1976)
Eight days into 2014, and the winter season is turning out to be a bitch. Like most of you, I've been trapped in my house, trying desperately to avoid the nearly -40 below temperatures. I've said it...
View ArticleDropping Evil (2012)
I once watched a video where a woman, crouched down and masturbating beside a horse, was kicked in the head by the beast's magnificent hooves. It was funny and simple. There was a woman. There was a...
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